Next Time, Learn What Languages He Can Talk
by Fafsernir
Summary: (School AU) Ianto and Tosh have this infallible way of speaking to each other without anyone understanding. How could they have known that Jack could totally understand what they were saying just as they were talking about him?


**BASTILLE DAY EVERYWHERE** _ **.** Allons enfants de la... Sorry, I'll stop there._

 _So, you know I'm French and it's the 14th of July, so it's the day to be proud and invade everything I can (namely Tumblr and Ao3/FF, hehe not even sorry.)_  
 _Anyway, it wasn't written for this day but it fits perfectly :D (by the way, it's our national day in case you were wondering)_

 **Prompt Idea "you're having a conversation in a language i'm fluent in and you just called me beautiful without realising I understand every word you're saying, and you're pretty easy on the eyes yourself so hello there" (Torchwood/aliens do not exist)**

 _Okay so as it's Ianto we're speaking of, the language I should have used is Welsh, of course. Except that, breaking news, I don't speak Welsh at all, so for the sake of this fic, Ianto and Tosh speak French. Better have true french sentences than Welsh ones from Google Translation that surely wouldn't actually be accurate. Anyway, as you probably don't speak French, I put the translation in italics and in parentheses everytime (Note that this is not a literal translation, I took liberties and made it so the French words couldn't be easily guessed for an English speaker (because the point was to speak so the others wouldn't understand, and some words are just really pretty obvious))_

* * *

Jack yawned and stretched his arms above his head. He stayed a moment like that, his hands in his hair, until he overheard a conversation.

"So, you had to tell me about something?"

He was always up for some gossip! He glanced quickly at Tosh, who had spoken, and Ianto who stared back at him before blushing and looking at Tosh.

"Yeah but... you know... Maybe..."

"Tu veux faire ça discrètement?" _(You wanna do that discreetly?)_ Why was Tosh speaking in French suddenly?

"Yup."

"Like, in the room?"

"Yup."

"Dis-moi tout!" _(Tell me everything!)_

"Tu as deviné qui c'était. J'aurais préféré en parler autrement..." (You guessed who it was. I'd rather have talked about this some other way...) Oh God Ianto could speak French too? It was way too sexy, he shouldn't be allowed to do so.

"Je sais... Just... Come on, Ianto." _(I know...)_

"Il est à mon goût," _(I kinda like him)_ oh that was becoming interesting. Jack crossed his arms on his chest, trying to pretend he wasn't eavesdropping. Or that he wasn't understanding every single word, at least. "Genre, vraiment. Il est pas mal. Je veux dire, regarde-le..." _(Like, really. He's not too bad. I mean, look at him...)_ God that really was one of the sexiest thing Jack had heard in his life. He had never heard a Welshman speaking French before, and that was a good experience. Then he felt two gazes on his neck and had to turn around, because he was Jack and just had to look back. He smiled and waved at Ianto who blushed again and looked away. "Il nous a complètement cramé." _(He totally saw us.)_

"C'est à cause de toi, si tu arrêtais de le fixer comme ça..." _(Your fault, if you'd stop staring at him like this...)_

"J'y peux rien, il est... Sérieusement, où il veut, quand il veut." _(I can't help it, he's... Seriously, whenever, wherever.)_ Oh this was _really_ becoming interesting for Jack here. Ianto wasn't too bad for the eye as well.

"Ianto! Bon, heureusement qu'il ne peut pas nous comprendre... Mais quand même." _(Ianto! Well, you should be glad he can't understand us... But still.)_

"Yeah sure, I'll see what I can do. So... How are you?"

"Seriously? I'm fine, Ianto. Oh il se lève." _(Oh he's standing.)_

Jack couldn't hide his grin as he stood up and walked to Ianto. He put a paper in front of him and winked at him. He waved at Tosh and walked out of the room. Ianto took the paper with shaking hands and seriously blushed at the first words. In French. Please, no.

"Voici mon numéro, appelle-moi quand tu veux, et je trouverais facilement le 'où'" _(Here's my number, call me when you want, I'll easily find the 'where')_ was written on it with a beautiful handwriting that Ianto had trouble not to stare at. Or maybe it was because of what was written on it. The laugh next to him brought him back to reality.

"Well I guess that was a way to say to your crush that... well, you had a crush on him. You'll tell me how it all goes with him then!"

"Will do. If..."

"Not 'if', he didn't freak out with our conversation and clearly suggested that he'd find some place to..."

"Yes. Yes I get the idea Tosh, thanks."

"Well, next time, try to first learn if they can speak French. As much as I love to practise it, it'll be quicker to just tell him in English, right?"

Ianto just smiled and looked down at the paper in his hands, just to be sure. Well, that was efficient, at least.


End file.
